Childhood Trauma part 3

Alright, here we go. The stuff that gave me nightmares as a child. I took my time to re-watch these movies to make sure there was nothing I missed. I will rush these because there is so much to talk about. So here it is.

1. The Indiana Jones Series: Before you go crazy I love Indiana Jones. It’s one of the most amazing and fun movies of all time. However looking back I remember being scared of some moments in all four films. And since a fifth film has been announced by Steven Spielberg, I think it’s appropriate to talk about them. First up is Raiders of the Lost Ark. The part that scared me was the climax when The Nazis were preparing to open up the Ark. Indy tells Marian [the love interest] to keep her eyes shut, then the Nazis open up the Ark and then spirits are flying around and start making scary face. Then a beam of light appears and kills all the Nazis and faces are melting and the main villain’s head explodes. Now that scared me enough but that’s only the 1st one. Next up is Temple of Doom. The scene where Indy and the gang discover the hidden mine in the palace. Indy and Short Round get stuck in a trap and Willy [love interest number 2] has to save them. But before she can get to that she has to go through a swarm of these huge, gross bugs. Just her screams and how creepy those insects looked freaked me out. But then again that’s the least one scary to me. Now we have The Last Crusade. This is my personal favorite of the series and it scared me too. Once again the scene takes place in the climax where Indy has to find the Holy Grail in order to save his father. Elsa [love interest number 3] and the main villain follow him. They come across the old knight and they mountain of golden grails. Though the Holy Grail is easy to point out, the villain instead drinks the wrong one and ages fast and his whole body decays. Now that scared me but now I realize that his decaying face looks like the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt. Finally we have Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. This film is clearly not as good as I remember it but still scared me. Again in the climax is the part that terrified me. Everyone meets up in the UFO and resurrect the alien and that alien disturbed me. Its movements and the fact that it completely disintegrated that woman horrified me. But now it looks ridiculous as all hell and yeah that’s about it. Did these films scare me, yes, do I still enjoy most of them, hell yeah. And I’ll still watch them today. By the way Kingdom of the Crystal Skull sucks.

Wow that was a lot to go through. Sorry for my hiatus it’s Fourth of July Weekend and lots of stuff is going on. But I’ll still try to review some movies coming out this weekend. Happy Fourth of July!!!

Childhood Trauma part 2

Sorry for my little hiatus, I’ve been on vacation. So I’m back and ready to finish my childhood trauma list with you. And if your wondering if I’m going to do a review of Transformers: the Last Knight, sorry.

3. The Dark Crystal: The 80s, a time of synthesizers, leg-warmers, big hair, and when children’s media was more focused on scaring kids rather than, well, being all lovey dovey. And Jim Henson’s Dark Crystal is part of that. Unlike Labyrinth this film did well at the box office. The effects, visuals, set design, and puppeteer work are all great but all of those are what make this film terrifying for little kids. the villains, who are like these scaley, bird-like creatures called Skeksis, really looked scary and the voice work for them really adds on to that. Even the heroes have an element of creepiness to them. Just recently I’ve heard that there was even more scary material that had to be cut out of the film. Plus Netflix is going to reboot it. Great!

2. Alien: Now I know what your all thinking, “Why would you watch this as a child?”, well I was really into horror. I watched the classics like Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn of the Dead, and even The Exorcist and barely got scared. So I thought Ridley Scott’s Alien would be another walk in the park but that wasn’t the case. That one scene where the xenomorph pops out the John Hurt’s stomach was scary but that’s not the worst. Those face-huggers would jump on your face and stuff an egg down your throught are creepy but that’s still not the worst. The fact that you are trapped in space with a seemingly invincible creature that‘s blood-hungry is terrifying. Sure H R Giger’s design has been beaten into the ground so much that it’s not that scary anymore but it scared me as a child so there’s that for ya.

It turns out that I had a lot to say about my number 1 spot so tune in for part 3 tomorrow!

My Child Trauma part 1

A trend that I’ve seen critics doing recently is childhood trauma videos. For those who don’t know the videos include critics reviewing certain media that scared as a kid. And now that I have a blog I’ve decided to share my inner childhood demons with all of you. And for those of you thinking that I’m not old enough well I don’t care I’m doing it anyway. So here’s a top 5 list of movies and TV shows that traumatized me as a child.

5. Labyrinth: I loved to watch darker toned stuff when I was little boy. And Jim Henson’s Labyrinth fueled that. While I was taking an art class my teachers put on this movie for us to see. I overall enjoyed it but there was one scene that got to me. It was the scene where goblins went to go kidnap Jennifer Connely’s baby brother, Toby. The way the goblins were designed and the way the scene was shot made it look creepy and nerve-racking. But the rest of the film I thought was okay and I still like watching it today.

4. Courage the Cowardly Dog: When I was much younger my brother and I would always watch shows of Cartoon Network. A lot of these shows I have fond memories of like Dexter’s Lab, Teen Titans, and Adventure Time. However there was one show that scared me and other kids called Courage the Cowardly Dog. There were several things in this show that scared me however one thing stuck with me all my life. In one episode called Remembrance of Courage Past there was a random dream sequence where a deformed, CG, blue monster pops up and says in a creepy voice “You’re not perfect”. That disturbing image instantly gave me nightmares after viewing as well as other tuned in kids around the nation. It also doesn’t help that its scene was pointless and just for shock value [in an animated kids show I might add]. I was never a big fan of the show but I am aware of its fanbase on the internet.

Tune in tomorrow for part 2!!!

The Mummy Review

I know I’m a little late for this one but being a fan of the original 1932 version I kind of felt like I had to go analyze this one. Boy was that a huge mistake. Since nearly every nostalgic thing is getting a cinematic universe it seems that it’s time for the classic Universal Monsters to get their own. Apparently it all starts with this week’s recent film reboot flop, The Mummy. I have been contemplating seeing this film for weeks now until today when I finally decided to go see it. I knew about how poorly it was doing at the box office and the mountains of critical bashing it was receiving as well, but I still saw it anyway. This was one of the most forced, unoriginal, effortlessly made films I’ve seen so far this year. Throughout this film is was so blatantly obvious that Universal Studios focused more on setting up the whole Dark Universe Saga rather than give audiences a well-written story with likable characters or fun action. They instead ripped off so many other movies that the tone flopped all over the place. First it’s a DC movie, then it’s a Marvel movie, then after that it’s a Horror movie. Speaking of which, let’s talk about the movie’s dreadful tactics to “quote” scare viewers. I swear to God every five minuets there was jump scare which became tired and easily predictable fast. But wait, the film also attempts at humor. It was one of the most shlocky comedy I’ve ever heard in my life. No originality, phoned in acting, laughable effects, and a crapy plot. What a poor start to a supposed future franchise.

Wonder Woman Review

In a time where DC Comic movies are tanking more and more, one film would come along to break the ice. I that film I 2017’s Wonder Woman. After the let-downs of Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad, I kept my expectations pretty low for this one. However when I saw all the positive reviews this movie was getting, I was a little curious. Finally when I saw this movie, I was genuinely surprised. The plot is about a hidden place full of women known as Amazons who were created by the Greek God, Zues One of these women is named Diana also known as Wonder Woman. One day German soldiers from WWI invade the Amazonian land and during a battle between the two, a friend of Wonder Woman died. She assumes that the god of war, Ares, is behind WWI and along with a US spy named Steve Trevor goes to stop Ares and end the war. The on-screen relationship between Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor is very believable instead of being forced. The two main actors Gal Gadot and Chris Pine acted really well in this movie and are very likeable. Also there’s a ton of cool action and a good style to go with it. But the supporting actors just serve as comedy relief or plot devices and the villains are just a little over the top. Also I do think the film is a tad overrated in some aspects. But once again I have to admit I did enjoy it overall. I know some people who’ll probably won’t like this movie, but for comic book fans who wanted to see a good action flick then it succeeded. Go check it out if you’re curious.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Review

Yep there is another and hopefully the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It comes to no surprise that the POTC series is as tired as a groggy, old sloth at this point. The plot is about a cursed Spaniard named Salazar and his crew are released from a supernatural prison and have a grudge against Johnny Depp’s character, Jack Sparrow, and are killing pirates left and right. So it’s up to Sparrow and friends to defeat them. Honestly do any of reading this really give a crap about what happens to these people at all? It’s just the same stuff we’ve seen in the last four movies. There’s a cursed gang that’s evil and practically invincible, Johnny Depp acts goofy, setting up a relationship between a bland, uninteresting couple, the heroes have to find a supernatural object in order to defeat the villains, a bunch of implausible action, and a shoehorned Geoffrey Rush performance. None of the characters are compatible in the slightest. Even Javier Bardem, who has played great villains in No Country for Old Men and Skyfall, is just a typical, stale villain. There’s also tact on cameos from Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, and Paul McCartney but like I said do you even care? So as you can clearly tell I thought this film was heinous. I can safely say that this film is a tale no one should tell.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol.2 Review

Another film from the unstoppable juggernaut known as Marvel Studios has hit theaters and keeps making more and more money week after week. After the box office smash hit of 2014 known as Guardians of the Galaxy, fans have been eagerly awaiting for a sequel. And finally it as come out to positive reviews and once again doing phenomenal at the box office. So what’s my take on it, well just the same as my thoughts on the first movie. It was an overall fun experience but also has its flaws. The plot involves our ragtag group of heroes [Star-Lord, Gamora, Drax, Baby Groot, and Rocket Raccoon] are back and meet Star-Lord’s father, Ego the Living Planet, along with a dozen other subplots as well. Joining our guardians are Ego’s assistant Mantis, Gamora’s sister Nebula, and the space pirate Yondu. All the actors in the movie are good, especially when interacting off each other. Plus tons of laughs, action, and lots of easter eggs. There’s also a twist about Ego that only die hard fan would probably see coming. The film’s flaws stem from a clustered plot, bland villains, and too much usage of CGI. But still I enjoyed this movie and would prefer to see it again on home video. Check it out for a good time.

Logan Review

Personally I’m glad my first review is a positive one. 20th Century Fox has been riding the coat tales of Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine for a decade and a half. So for Jackman’s last go as the beloved character is a spectacular finale. And as a comic book lover myself I think this is the best X-MEN movie by far. The plot involves the year of 2029 where an old, beaten up Wolverine ends up having to take his clone daughter, Laura[X-23], to North Dakota to escape from a terrorist group known as the Reavers led by the devious Donald Pierce. The film was dark, gritty, and finally gave fans a gory Wolverine movie. The movie also gave time for the relationship between our whole Father&Daughter team to bloom. Where in most movies child characters are just plot devices, Laura works along side her father and sometimes accomplishes stuff by herself rather than always having to be saved by Wolverine constantly. Hugh Jackman once again is fantastic as Wolverine and even Patrick Stewart was good as an even more old, beaten up Professor X. Though the villains aren’t a little fleshed out and sometimes the confusing X-MEN timeline gets in the way, it’s overall a great movie and is one of the greatest comic book movies ever! I managed to actually get emotionally attached to this movie which I thought a Wolverine movie could never do. I’d highly recommend seeing this one.

 

 

 

Welcome to my blog!

Yes, I’m an adolescent, but I’m definitely mature for my age. Hollywood always goes after my demographic by manufacturing crap after crap after crap and keep feasting on your money. Well I’m here to tell them that not everyone is so easily fooled. With my love of art and cinema I’ve decided to create a blog to share my reviews with you guys. I hope some of you can at least respect my opinions instead of ridicule them because I’m underage. So sit back and relax and enjoy my blog.